Forgivenes and Positive Living
The forgiveness and positive living
By Ton Pascal
"Forgiveness is key to us can unleash a past that will not rest in the tomb of things over and done with. While our minds are captive to the memory of being treated unfairly, they are not free of desire to reconcile with the one who wronged us. "Lewis B. Smedes.
For more than 20 years who had a grudge, rage over the hatred of my own mother. I felt totally justified and was absolutely convinced that had the right to openly express their anger against what they believed was the mother of my absence, lack of care, love and motherhood any sense to me since the death of my father. In fact, he called me the force of these things to follow with my life.
Only a few close friends knew about it and even when I began to relax my studies I never thought that this issue had nothing to do with my mental search for harmony and the frustration of being unable to reach it completely.
My incessant movement around the planet from one country to other material brought me personal satisfaction, but left me feeling empty. As a potted tree that has not yet found a grounding the mother in which to thrive.
When I decided to return to Canada last five years, little did I know that would be the beginning of a journey that would take me through time and meet with my mother.
My sister had made arrangements for us to meet and although I was not very willing to do that, I accepted. He was tense, arrogant, disagreeable when we first met. As my mother tried to kiss me pulled me back and just offered my hand for a handshake.
His first words were recorded in my mind and heart for the coming days when he said: "All I want is to ask whether you could forgive me for not being the mother I wish I could have been, my son, I'm sorry … "
We met again a few days later and talked openly about our pain, hurts, sorrows and hopes. It was the first time I saw my mother as a woman and as a human being, not like before, from the point of view the child. My father's unexpected death in thirty-two beautiful young woman left a widow twenty-six years old with four children, the youngest of the 25 days of life care, a few cattle and ranches of a retail business in a sexist society. Having only an elderly parent and a younger sister in Brazil, was alone and against all odds, managed to raise his family.
Compassion and understanding that gave me the strength not only to forgive, but forgive myself for the pain I inflicted nonsense myself and the guilt that goes with it.
We became very close again, and gradually the whole family seemed closer and closer. I quickly discovered that forgiveness is a positive energy that spreads much faster than I thought. I have nieces, nephews, cousins are now an integral part of my life good. A new route is opened in my path and writing positively dream of your life came a year later.
A well documented on this subject is "The Campaign for Forgiveness Research" * where I found some important examples cited here. Whenever we witness an act of forgiveness, we marvel at its power to heal, to break a seemingly endless cycle of pain.
Forgiveness is something that almost all Americans aspire. One national survey Gallup survey, 94% said it was important to forgive, but it is not often offer. (In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.)
Perhaps this is because forgiveness is something we do not fully understand, or that we associate with forgiveness weakness as Friedrich Nietzsche.
Some view forgiveness as an almost saintly quality that blesses only the very special and certainly can not be learned. In fact, the opposite is true, forgiveness is one sign of strength. Research conducted at the University of Wisconsin in 1997 shows that forgiveness can be taught and with positive results.
When I told my friend that if I wanted to find a healthy source strength after its separation from an abusive husband, she must forgive before he could find his own path to happiness. "After what I've been through with that bastard?" When hell freezes over … "Was his reply.
I suggested she try the following three statements to get a couple of weeks and see if he still felt the same way.
- I am good, compassionate and now I have the power to forgive.
- I deserve to be happy and successful.
- Now I am ready to receive more love, support and wealth of the source of vastness of the universe.
After two weeks of statements said that the hardest part thing was thinking about him and all the bad incidents. The pain, despair and guilt again but now understood that she wanted to be able to forgive and prayers I asked God to help her to forgive.
I knew I had found his way.
According to Professor Douglas Kelley of the University West of the State of Arizona, the key to long-term marital happiness may be in how well you communicate forgiveness partner.
"Forgiveness is no apology, actions have painful consequences. However, couples who communicate forgiveness may be the key to stable marriages. "What makes some marriages last a lifetime, while others falter and fall apart? Today the notion of equality, eye for eye, it is important, "says Kelley. "That makes forgiveness counterintuitive – but at the same time a lot of people that are not considered religious or spiritual are forgiving each other. Is it because they feel they will reap the benefits of forgiveness in the coming years, or some other reason?
In the end, Kelley expected to embrace forgiveness and communication can provide a sense of well being and stability for couples living in a society that is increasingly stressed.
Forgiveness does not change what happened, nor warrants or too well. We can focus on your life from one emotional state pain free. The past is not you're nervous, mourn or swear. Forgiveness only helps to put aside the baggage of negatives and makes room for all the positive things you desire.
I know a lot of people after a vacation up lover or a friend have committed treason "Never let anyone hurt me like that again." It is justifiable, this is your survival instincts, take a protective shield, but be careful that this shield also prevents you from connecting with new people and, finally, make new friends.
This life is not, and most are not even aware of it. Forgiveness is letting go of that negative emotional charge and begin a new stronger way than before.
It is very difficult, I know, to accept the fact that someone you loved and trusted, who betrayed and stabbed in the back deserves your forgiveness.
When I lost the best friend of 25 years to what I thought was petty gossip, which was devastated and questioned the sincerity of his friendship so many years.
After forgive her now I can look back and laugh at the good times we had together. Sincerity is not a question, my love for her is the same. Our roads have just taken a different direction that's all.
Make an assessment of the people in your life, and those who are gone. What are your feelings about them? Is there anyone who feels "I dislike (or hatred) that son of a bitch", either for personal reasons or malicious gossip? Or is someone how far and in Your book is unforgivable?
You are carrying a negative emotional burden. Get rid of him ASAP if you want the good energy positive living to reach you.
An important, well researched and proven is that the anger, pain and the pain will not only affect the way you communicate with others, but in the end you will be excluded from the social contact. Their self-esteem is constantly being questioned and if nothing is done it will eventually breakdown.
"The Forgiveness allows us to overcome a situation that would otherwise be a major source of stress, both mental and neurobiological. Forgiveness is the thought of change dramatically biological homeostasis of the individual. It will assess the neurobiological response associated with forgiveness and forgive-dom. "Study of brain functional correlates in humans of Forgiveness-Pietro Pietrini, MD, Ph.D., Pisa – Italy.
The forgiveness benefits both, but most, because you left the negative baggage behind. You are now ready to receive positive force, energy, love, wealth and success of the universe have in store for you.
The other person does not even have to know is irrelevant. Nor should we bring that person in your life or close circle. What is your opinion maters and therefore their actions. If you are clean, clear and positive, then your life, your friends and be their future.
"Forgiveness is both decision and a real change in emotional experience. That change in emotion is related to better mental and physical health. "
Everett Worthington L., Jr., Ph.D. Executive Director, a campaign for forgiveness research.
Since ten years ago grudge against third bully deep level of anger against a cheating spouse, millions of Americans harbor long-term complaints. Dr. Carl Thoresen, a professor at Stanford University and his colleague, Dr. Fred Luskin, are studying whether the unresolved anger that blights many people's lives can be alleviated with the help of an old concept age: forgiveness. Together, the couple launched a comprehensive research project: The study of forgiveness of Stanford. Thoresen and Luskin expect the impact of their work will be preventive and therapeutic.
"It is our hope that the families and school violence, including armed attacks, fury driving, gang violence and labor disputes will be reduced – if not avoided – if more people understand the role that forgiveness can play in interpersonal relations "Thoresen said," It takes courage and commitment to act in a more lenient. It is definitely not a sign of weakness but a mark of strength. "
Have a great trip
Pascal Ton
Dr. Carl Thoresen is a professor of education, psychology and Psychiatry at Stanford University. Dr. Fred Luskin is a research associate at the Stanford Center for Research in Disease Prevention.
My book of dreams your life positively is available at Amazon.com.
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About the Author
Ton Pascal is a self thought , self help advocate and author. His Dream Your Life Positively is a beautiful guide to visualization and meditation. He believes that the times we are facing in our world require a more spiritual approach to our everyday lives.
http://www.dreamyourlifepositively.com/
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